Dark Waters

I've been feeling down and losing hope over the difficulty of the things I'm doing, my expectations for myself, and feeling bad about the system making it hard to solve problems.

Dark Waters is a movie about a lawyer Rob who tries to get justice for DuPont knowingly exposing harmful chemicals to people. Throughout the 20 year process, Rob faces many difficulties and opposition from DuPont, his law firm, and the public to do Good. As Rob sorts through a mountain of documents, I am reminded of the necessity of doing the drudgerous work. I feel angry thinking about companies knowingly causing harm and following market pressures and governments that can't solve the problem.

He faces stress and a straining relationship with his family. I think the movie portrays the difficulty of the wife supporting the husband doing their work well. In my favorite scene, Rob passes out after the big boss says Rob is getting another pay cut and Rob tells him that even the government won't stand up to DuPont. In the hospital, Rob's wife sticks up for him: Why is the big boss treating him like a failure even though he is putting so much at stake on this case.

This movie mirrors a lot of what I've been feeling. I hope to be patient, build up the ability to do things, and persist through the multifaceted of challenges of doing Good. I hope to be close with my family, have a supportive partner, and find a way to balance things and not have an all or nothing or self-sacrificing mindset.